


Signal Markers of Anal-Retentiveness in the Modern-Day Sentinel

by arrow (esteefee)



Series: Scholarly Works [2]
Category: The Sentinel
Genre: April Showers Challenge, Epistolary, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-07-26
Updated: 2007-07-26
Packaged: 2017-10-17 12:25:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/176834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esteefee/pseuds/arrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>by Dr. Blair Sandburg, Ph.D.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Signal Markers of Anal-Retentiveness in the Modern-Day Sentinel

  


  
**Signal Markers of Anal-Retentiveness in the Modern-Day Sentinel  
(An Annotated Compendium)  
**   
_by Dr. Blair Sandburg, Ph.D._   


  


  


Researcher notes that Subject, a forty year-old white male with hypersensitivity, exhibits marked behaviors of anal-retentive syndrome. To wit:

  * Subject files his nails after trimming them.  

  

  * Enjoys puerile fart humor.  

  

  * Squeezes toothpaste from the bottom of the tube. (Who _does_ that?)  

  

  * Gets grumpy if someone borrows his robe and returns it after their shower.  

  

  * Owns at least three dust-busters, one for upstairs and two for downstairs.  

  

  * Wears only white, all-cotton socks (and _bleaches_ them if they get the tiniest bit pink because of some inexplicable laundry mix-up.)  

  

  * Refuses to engage in bowel movement if anyone else is present in apartment.  

  

  * Was a bed wetter as a small boy. [Subject's response: This is a **lie**.]  

  

  * Spends a little too much time cleaning his gun. (Overuse of gun oil possibly explains frequent "slippage.") [Subject: Bite me, Sandburg.]  

  

  * Will swipe your half-empty cup of coffee and dump it out to wash the cup, afterward asking speciously, "Oh, weren't you done with that?"  

  

  * Obsessively waxes and shines his vehicle, dubbed "Sweetheart." [Subject: You're just jealous.]  
[Researcher: Wax _this_.]  
[Subject: Thought that's what I did last night.]  

  

  * Really, _really_ loves having his asshole played with. [Subject: Yep.]  

  

  * Won't do me bareback. [Subject: You have any idea how many blood transfusions I've had? I can't put you at risk, babe.]  

  

  * Won't say "I love you," unless he whispers it in the dark. [Subject: On paper then, I _love_ you, you schmuck.]  
[Researcher: Ditto. Sweetheart.]  

  

  * Three words: color-coded Tupperware [Subject: That's _two_ words, Darwin. One's a compound.]  
[Researcher: _Q.E.D._ ]  

  



  
.....................  
2007.07.26

  


**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] The Scholarly Works Sentinel series](https://archiveofourown.org/works/786731) by [kalakirya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalakirya/pseuds/kalakirya)




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